Kind Words

11-17-11

“I hope someday you will join us.  And the world will live as one.”  John Lennon

I have two stories, a year apart, with the same theme, same conflict, and same resolution.  The theme: Ironically, Goodness rises above the muck.  The conflict: misguided, over-zealous public school administrators versus earnest learners.  The resolution: peace.

A year ago, our new administration pushed staff to do more more more.  While they were pushing, they were taking away our planning time.  It wasn’t the kind of pushing that motivated.  It was the kind that aggravated.  At the last minute, a day before report card pickup, we got two blows.  The first was learning that we would not be in our classrooms for the seven hours we spend waiting for ten to fifteen parents to show up.  I was fuming and outraged.  Every year I look forward to this night as a catch up time to get my classroom and materials in order.  I took this as just another smash and grab.  It wasn’t until I ranted at the fourth teacher, that I began to wonder if my reaction was fueled by hormones.  I’m not usually a ranter, and even as I moved onto the next rantee, I could feel how unattractive and unpleasant I was. 

The second blow came at the end of the same day, time to punch out and go home.  Special education teachers were called down to the principal’s office.  Uh oh.  “Are your IEP progress reports done?” he demanded.  We had to have some reports done by the end of the day, reports that we haven’t really been trained to do properly since they went electronic.  I thought mine were done enough, but I was appalled at the manner in which we were admonished. Everyone griped and grumbled and made excuses and he said, “It’s your job.  Get them done tonight.”

After crying the entire walk home, unable to see the last of the fall colors, I was sure I was in a menopausal slump. Resentment carried me into work the next day, only to discover I would be in the same room with four other special education teachers for report card pick-up.  Now I knew how the kids felt in their self-contained special ed classes.  The four of us complained, waa, waa, waa.  And then we found out we had even more to do with these reports online and needed them done and printed by the end of the following school day. 

An amazing thing happened in that classroom.  I don’t know when the change came, but at some point, the muttering and poor me shifted.  We helped each other.  We came up with plans for next time.  We threw around streamlining ideas.  I couldn’t have done my job without them.  Had I been alone in my classroom, I would have been mired in resentment, hardening in the same spot.  Instead, I was blessed to be a part of trail blazing.  I got to see the courage and generosity of my co-workers, too, some whom I only knew as ranters.  It’s just like cooking.  At first, each ingredient is just an ingredient.  When the heat is on, they start working together, blending and softening and adjusting.  Mmm. The smell is divine.

So this year for report card pickup I had no expectations about being in my classroom, or anywhere for that matter.  I felt a bit exposed being assigned to sit in a hallway, rather than a classroom.  But that turned out to be an advantage because I could grab all the kids I knew and ask them to introduce me to their parents.  Had I been holed up in a classroom I wouldn’t have seen a tenth of the students and parents I saw.  I had a great time sincerely telling parents how kind hearted their children were and how I know that they will bring up their grades from an F to a C or B.  I got to share in students’ tears and parents concerns.  What a blessing!

But the conflict came when the two administrators in passing told me they had to take down the signs from my Peace Club.  Our Peace Club decided they wanted to push politeness in the school.  We made over thirty signs with words like “Thank you,” and “Please,” and “Yes, of course,” and “You’re kind to say so,” and “Excuse me.”  We added to each one of those signs a quote by Mother Teresa: “Kind words may be short…but their echoes are endless.”  Lovely, right?  We wanted students, and staff, to know why we were splashing these words around the school.  The signs were taken down, I was told, because Mother Teresa is Catholic.  Apparently, we can’t show religious bias by posting signs with a quote by a Catholic. 

I was amazed, dumbfounded, outraged. “What?” 

The administrators nodded sympathetically.  “Yes.  And she’s up for sainthood,” one of them added, as if making matters worse. 

“What if I post more and used quotes from other religions?” 

With a doubtful look, they said I’d have to post a lot, I guessed, for evenness. 

I asked, “What if we had only posted quotes by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. who was a Baptist minister?  Would you have taken those down, too?” 

One of the administrators said, “Yes.  Separation of church and state.”

The absurdity of this hit me so hard I felt it in my gut.  I wanted to protest.  I Googled religious expression in Chicago Public schools and found a list that supported, rather than banned our posters.  I talked to a few teachers who were also astounded.  One of my fellow peace lovers said something so right.  She said that even though the reaction to the posters is ridiculous, most likely I won’t be able to convince them of that.  My energy instead should be focused on what I can do and what the Peace Club can do.  The more I thought about this, the more sense that made.  If I’m all about peace, then I need to focus on ways to adjust, rather than fighting the wrongs done to me and the Peace Club members.  I spent about an hour looking online at these, along with other moving quotes about polite and kind words by other great peace leaders:

·          “A bit of fragrance always clings to the hand that gives roses.” Chinese Proverb

·         “A good word is like a good tree whose root is firmly fixed and whose top is in the sky.”  Qur’an

·         “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” Mahatma Gandhi

·         “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Psalms 19:10

The words inspired me, moving me to feel more loving toward each student and parent I saw. 

The Peace Club is going to really blast the school with more lovely quotes and words, hopefully inspiring others to be more kind and loving.  Members are going to see firsthand that worthwhile efforts are often met with resistance, and we have to find ways to adjust, making our message and us stronger. 

With the help of friends, I remember: when life happens, not according to my plan, I like myself better if I let go of my way and my outrage, stop trying to carpet the world, and put on some shoes instead.  I’m reminded of an Ojibwa Indian saying: “Sometimes I go about pitying myself and all the while I am being carried across the sky by beautiful clouds.”  I like being a buck-up little camper kind of gal.  It just takes me a while to pitch my tent in the rain, particularly in a menopausal downpour. But with the help of others facing similar weather, we did it.  Tonight I appreciate my co-workers and their wisdom.  I’m grateful for my administrators’ decisions.  And John Lennon keeps singing in my heart. “And the world will live as one.”

Let’s watch this soup shift from individual ingredients to something divine.

Chicken Chili Soup

1 large can or 4 c. chicken stock

½ large onion chopped

3 cloves of garlic minced or sliced thinly

1 chayote squash peeled and cut in half inch cubes

1 green pepper chopped large

1 zucchini quartered lengthwise and sliced ¼ inch

1 can cannellini beans or garbanzo beans, rinsed

1 can black beans (Add the liquid to the soup, too.)

2 t. cumin or more

2 t. chili powder (I use about twice that much.)

Juice of one large lime
8 or so chicken tenders cubed

Salt and pepper to taste

Boil onion, garlic and chayote squash in chicken stock for 15 minutes.  Add green pepper, spices and lime juice and boil on low heat for another eight to ten minutes.  Add zucchini and beans and cook until all are tender.  Add chicken and cook for another minute or two. 

Like soup, life is richer when combined with the essence of others.  Thank you, wise, flavorful friends and co-workers. Thank you, administrators for the push that finally inspired. And thank you, parents for the privilege of knowing your very spicy children.