Hay! What's the Big Idea?

Because I have a learning disability, I’m often drawn to the minutia and miss the big picture.  When I read, listen or go about my day, the small details overwhelm and I forget what’s important.

About eighteen months ago, when my back was so bad, I looked online for foods I could eat that would help my ligaments and tendons.  I found this great website with all sorts of foods that were supposed to relieve inflammation and strengthen tendons.  I learned about chia and hemp seeds, alfalfa and papaya.  I had no idea where to get the seeds but at the top of the page was a menu which included shop.  When I clicked on it several choices of feed stores came up.  Huh?  Slowly, my blinders slipped loose and I saw the big picture, the background of horses running through a lush green field.  I’d found a horse diet!  Lucky for me, the vitamin H gal in Whole Foods surprised me: “Yes, we have chia and hemp!”  At school the next day, as I grazed on my equine meal, I told my lunch mates about my horse diet.  They had a great time making jokes while I neighed.  We sang the Mr. Ed song, “Oh, Wilbur,” I warbled, when Bill opened up my lunch box and hung it from my head for a feed box.  When the snorting died down, he added with a twinkle, “And next week we’ll have to get one for the other end.”

I spend my days pushing kids to do their jobs, to focus, to get started.  I look forward to 3:00 when the noise migrates to the streets and my world quiets down.  I pine for Later when I can go home and finish all chores and finally I can relax.  And further still, I peer off to summer when my time is my own.

But I’m learning that sometimes the big idea is really right now in the smallest details, whether in solitude or in union.  When I can open my eyes and my heart to value the quick sound, or brief effort, in those moments I feel whole.

                

   The sunlight through old glass that casts swirling designs

         

 

              The moment the exquisite face appeared to me in the soap scum on my bathtub

         

 

The patch of ice calling me to run and slide, the best part of cold

         

Or the song I heard from one of those motley starlings early one summer morning as I lay in bed, in no hurry to get up—a mournful song with a beginning, middle and end.

And then there are the moments when small unions remind me of the big picture.

·         I constantly press Bryan, a little freshman who can’t keep his focus on work, is always the last one to get started and rarely finishes what the others have completed decades earlier.  We struggled, but he remains quiet and never says a bad word.  The day I got back from my bereavement leave, he said hi to me in the empty hallway.  A moment later, he called to me, “Ms. Leghorn.” He walked right up to me and with a quiet boldness, eye to eye, he said, “Sorry about your mother.”  His sincere effort touched me more than any condolences from adults.

·         Going through my parents’ things out at their house, my sister and I sorted while my friend looked up items online to find their value.  We were quite impressed with her success.  While my sister cleaned out a drawer, she said, “Here’s a nickel.”  I said, “Hmm.  That might be worth something.”  My sister said the words I was thinking, “Hey, can you see how much that’s worth?” The reward of my friends’ giggle was more precious than any antiques we discovered.

·         Working on dinner in a rush, my six year old next door neighbor called through her parents’ window, “Hi Lindsay.”  “Hi, Ella,” I said.  She asked me how my day was and what I was doing.  “Do you want me to read you a story?” she said.  I sighed, thinking about all I had to do to get dinner on the table, but agreed.  She ran for a book and settled into her spot on the window sill, legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles, leaning back against the window trim.  She couldn’t have looked more beautiful in her pose.  She read with inflection and a deliberateness that moved me to get a stool, knowing I was in for the long haul.  I took a moment to get my camera and take her picture.  When she was done she asked if I liked the story, and I gave her my praises. She decided, “We should do this every day.”

Sharing laughter with students, moving from a moment of irritation, then letting go and laughing together at my mistake or ridiculousness, I grab hold of the big idea and relax.  I’m so grateful for their guidance toward what’s important.  Recognizing the value in the smile reflected back from a student or stranger, shining in the cardinals’ serenade as I walk to school on a February morning, or relishing the delicious feel of laughter in my body when my lunch mates tease me in my horse sense, those are the big ideas. 

And now, a snack fit for a horse!

Papaya Smoothie with Chia, Hemp and Alfalfa

1c. plain, fat free organic yogurt

¼ c. chopped ripe papaya

¼ banana quartered and sliced

Handful of organic blueberries or blackberries

1 t. alfalfa powder

1 T. chia seeds

1 t. hemp seeds

1 T. unsweetened cocoa nibs

Combine first four ingredients in a mug.  Use an immersion blender to blend smoothly.  Add and stir in the remaining ingredients.  Let sit for 15 to 20 minutes so the chia can develop its gel and the cocoa nibs can soften a bit.

While you eat, it might help to imagine galloping through a sparkling field, but not so fast that you forget to listen for the cardinals’ serenade.