Picky Female

Single Grey Female Seeks Tall Strong Male

Rather shy
Tall, slender Naturalist
Interests include outdoor activities
Music in the park
Sunsets and gentle breezes that tingle my limbs
Favorite artist: Picasso
Favorite song: I've Got My Eye On You
Looking for a strong, flexible male
who can protect without overshadowing
who can appreciate the passing seasons
who is not afraid to dance in the wind
Kids: OK. Because frankly, who cares?

In the past twenty years I’ve often been told “You’re too picky.” It’s a phrase that used to make my fur rise up along my back. My teeth ached and my face got hot. I felt diminished. A character defect: I’m too picky. My head would spin wondering how everyone else can live accepting of what they don’t want. How can I start liking weak coffee? How can develop respect and love for this man who doesn’t value me?

My condition was pointed out to me when I admitted to my mom I wanted out of my marriage. “You’re too picky.” At an all time low, vulnerable to anyone else’s opinion, I bared my teeth, ready to defend myself. Then I’d cower, tuck my tail between my legs and wonder if that were true. Should I just accept a loveless marriage?

My dad, too, was free to express his judgments about my choices. Even my decisions in a restaurant, choosing not to eat anything if nothing on the menu appealed to me always attracted a pointing finger: “Lindsay, you’re just too picky.” I wasn’t cute like Meg Ryan, “I like what I like,” in When Harry Met Sally.

I heard the phrase again recently, and I was riled only momentarily. “You’re too picky,” my friend determined. I was telling her about my online dating possibilities. “They keep sending me old men with comb-overs. And they live so far away.” She hit my knee and tsked her tongue at me. This friend is someone whose wisdom I greatly respect, so for me to listen to myself over her took a new found strength. After my initial hair raising, I stood firm. “Really. Life’s too short to spend it in a car driving to see someone I’m not attracted to.”

I realize today that I can be grandly picky. Instead of defending myself and getting all hot and hissy when being diagnosed as too picky, I can smile and declare, “I know!” I feel grandly, richly picky because I have many choices. And if I don’t see what I like on the menu, I can always go home to my safe kitchen, open my dark, overcrowded refrigerator and make a delicious treat that I will grandly enjoy. I appreciate my own moans of pleasure. Better to be alone eating delicious food than to feel stuck in lousy company, eating unappealing food, feeling defective. Oscar Wilde, I believe would agree. “To love one’s self is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”

Here’s a sandwich that is delicious if you are picky about matching up taste and textures in the best order.

Hearty Messy Fresh Veggie Sandwich for the Picky at Heart

Your favorite bread toasted—but wait until everything is ready so it doesn’t get cold. I really love the texture of Trader Joe’s honey Oat Bran Bread.

Hummus (Red pepper hummus is nice, but if you like another kind, choose it. Don’t let me tell you what to do. Isn’t that an ironic statement? If you do it, you’re not doing it; if you don’t do it then you’re doing it. What to do? What to do?)

8 Fresh basil leaves—I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that you use the younger, more potent leaves.

Perfectly ripe avocado sliced about 1/8^th of an inch so it doesn’t bland up the sandwich. Just a little is a nice complement to the sharpness of the hummus.

Stick with me, and some day you’ll see the reason in all this!

One sweet, I mean sweet, tomato sliced thinly—again: some day. If it’s not sweet, throw it out. I mean, why bother?

½ a cucumber sliced thinly so they adapt to the contour of the sandwich you’re building—the pickle cucumbers have smaller seeds and are crispier, if you like that kind of thing.

Sautéed portabella slices with thinly slice sweet onions—best to slice the mushrooms an eighth of an inch thick because they cook thoroughly inside and don’t overcook on the outside. Oh you’re so picky. I know! Isn’t it grand?

12 fresh baby spinach leaves

Spreadable goat cheese—a winner every time.

Building Instructions:

Once you have everything sliced and ready to go, toast only one slice of bread because the other one will get cold and hard while you’re working.

1. Evenly spread hummus.

2. Cover with basil leaves.

3. Lay avocado slices on toast like they’re spooning.

4. Add tomato slices. Remember: sweet!

5. Spread cucumbers, like a deck of cards, in three rows across the sandwich.

6. Lay out the portabellas and onions, being sure to cover as much surface as you can.

7. Now you can toast the top slice of bread while you’re laying out the baby spinach leaves.

8. Spread goat cheese on the top toast and cover your creation with a loving squeeze.

Good luck eating it. Best to do it alone—the best of company at times like these—with a large napkin. The sound of your own moans will be thanks enough for your divinely picky self-care.